Not So Happy Holiday.
Yeah.. the title says some of the summary even the holidays is not here yet.. in one way I think i am glad to be getting home, but there absolutely nothing to do at home. yeah , i have the chance to et home cooked food, but that all. I already calculated the days i be spending alone ratio during digital system exam and it shows a certain result that i would not like..
Yes. I finish the test 1/2 hour earlier. and spent 15 min to check my answers. The remaining 15 minutes had shown me that I only have 1/5 of my holiday fasting, and Raya. That all. the remaining 4/5 days would be on my own. As MMU student know our holiday is not the same as other higher education center. Majority of my friends are in Public institution.
The mind works in an amazing way. In one time you are thinking about holiday, then it relates to friends you left behind. Then it connected to Empty Promises that you be together, “Friends Forever”, Well it seem as people always forgets the person who always at the background, yeah the one that not popular, geeky, and the nobody who only useful when it comes to study.. sometimes it feel as if i am just a annoyance to people. yeah that how i feel. I cared to much to people but as people maybe i just cared more about people and family above my own.
So as far as i can remember, I never like requesting from people. mainly it can be a burden to other. In a certain way I let down people because we need choice, there an infinite choice that can be taken but choosing one is the difficult part. For me, i take too long time to take the right or wrong choice, which may had cause negative result at the end. maybe society would be much better if there less people like me. I am trying my best to change my self here, but it seems the more i change the worst the situation it had became.
What this all got to do with my holiday? Well all i can say I am going to miss my friends, when they go away, but nobody will miss me. I am not a loner or an antisocial person, it just I always been forgotten and left behind, as if i am not there. I am sure this Blog would never be read because It just words, only meaningless words written from lonely person. p/s there 75% chance i will be spending all my holiday at my hometown.