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Oh Hey Ranting

 

*Sigh*

Hello there. It has been awhile since i wrote something here.

Well i guess  its because it lies in the deep deep quiet parts of the internet. Maybe someday someone will find this.  But hey the reason why I am here is because if anyone read this it would be already in the past .If anyone ever feel bad or anything. Just straight up and tell me you found this.I would not be mad, Mainly would be shocked.

Sooo lets begin.

It have been a difficult time for me to keep things bottle up and try not to be emotional. But hey, I am a human too. Since this would be a long post i might as well put it in a point form.

  • It feels like people do not allow me to express my anger on Social media. Mainly because it seem immature. :heck posting here is also an immature thing to do. But what i am trying to say is that. I am pissed off. Angry when people can “beat around the bushes” trying to direct a message that it is about ME. I would like to be immature too and post similar type but, i guess i prefer what is the point.
  • On another note, I been holding back.When i go out with someone special. I try not to show PDA or something like that. I’ll prefer being along and nice when were alone. BUT HEY people around me sees me like i am a useless fool. dumb hard headed no clue person. They have to show “how to” take care of people. It piss me off.
  • I try. I try my best not to show off or show that i am better around people. But when i make a mistake, and someone else is better then what i do, they tend to shove it “in YOUR FACE” ..Sigh..
  • Left out. People say, that friendship will last forever. Things like. I’ll never forget you or meet you again or you are my someone special. after 10-14 years. I see friends, getting married and heck i have no idea at all. Some already have kids. I guess my wedding invitation is lost somewhere. Oh well. yeah. Like Tony Stark Says. “So Was I”
  • Speaking related as above. I do appreciate people see me as a role model. So far in my life it feel like i am usually the bind or glue to connect people. I remember people but somehow i don’t thing people remember about me. it feels lonely.
  • You know that feeling you are trying to make good at people. You try to get the team together. You try your best to hold on the group. But sometime you are left out of your own group. (this does not make any sense)
  • Being left out. Some friends see me i am that social type of person. In fact i prefer to stick with one or two people in my life. Or maybe three. But It is lonely when 3 of them have things to do and I am left out. Even if your i am paired with 1 person, I STILL BEING LEFT OUT. (longer rant here never mind) I might just be that guy who tag along or just a shadow.
  • I try. I try my goddam best to keep my emotion at bay.
  • Oh and the part of want to spend time with another person. NOPE when were in a group. Well my voice would be sunk deep behind. When i am talking and people interrupt. Hey.. nevermind my topic dosen’t matter.Suree.. take all the time and things you want to talk about. they are very very important

Wow.. that alot of things bottled up.

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